Fraught not, my fists are taught
Ready to fight, without flight, or fright.
You, I do not fear, I hear, I'm here, my path is clear.
Without pain, there is no gain, no refrain, I'm not the same
As You.
So I stand tall, I'll never fall, dare not crawl
Away.
Stand my ground, in ropes I am bound by a "Sound
Society."
So now I am caught, the freedom I've sought
has escaped just beyond my grasp, stolen from my clasp.
Do not tempt my wrath. For that will never surface.
I lie here repressed, oppressed, nothing to confess.
Staring up at the ceiling, I must begin my healing, I must rid me of this pain I am feeling.
Although lost I remain, I must also remain sane, without any pain
there is no gain. It is ingrained into my brain
that my freedom is my own and it shall never change.
Gone are my rights, but yet I don't fight, I must write
Oh dear God, I must write!
So I leave you my words, praying they'll be heard, clasped in the claw of a bird.
Let my message reach you, touch you, complete you.
If so then my work here is done.













Devious Comments
Comments
--
My gallery --> ^^
First off, I really like it the way it is, but if I had to change it, I would increase the emphasis on the "freedom" he has in the last stanza.
And in the third when it says his freedom has "escaped," it seems to me like that this freedom being taken from him then is different from the freedom that stays with him in the end, so I'd find a way to distiguish the difference
--
My gallery --> ^^
--
[link] Counting Clouds - an exciting book!
[link] My tutorials!
If you LOVE it then suggest it to a GM - now!
--
Religion comforts the afflicted and afflicts the comfortable.
Worker of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!
Porta den man di Dios, porta den man di mi. Todo el mundo, hasi semper fuerte e nos is por biba e din cielo.
For the first one how do you mean put emphasis on it? Like he is still holding onto the last shards of the freedom he once had?
And second, initially it was the freedom of rights that he lost when he lost his right to protest. The freedom that stays with him until the end is the freedom to be whomsoever he wants to be. So I'm guessing you just want me to make that a little clearer? hmm...thats a toughie but sure I'll go ahead and try :-D
--
Religion comforts the afflicted and afflicts the comfortable.
Worker of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!
Porta den man di Dios, porta den man di mi. Todo el mundo, hasi semper fuerte e nos is por biba e din cielo.
--
Religion comforts the afflicted and afflicts the comfortable.
Worker of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!
Porta den man di Dios, porta den man di mi. Todo el mundo, hasi semper fuerte e nos is por biba e din cielo.
--
[link] Counting Clouds - an exciting book!
[link] My tutorials!
If you LOVE it then suggest it to a GM - now!
--
Religion comforts the afflicted and afflicts the comfortable.
Worker of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!
Porta den man di Dios, porta den man di mi. Todo el mundo, hasi semper fuerte e nos is por biba e din cielo.
--
Religion comforts the afflicted and afflicts the comfortable.
Worker of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!
Porta den man di Dios, porta den man di mi. Todo el mundo, hasi semper fuerte e nos is por biba e din cielo.
Previous Page1234Next Page